sometimes...just sometimes...

God is really care about His children. :) I feel His great love for me.
So God Father, i seek for your answer. >< Thank you Jesus!

know your own self.

After all the sermant that i attended, i only know that how identity mean to a person. More towards the people of God. Know urself more and firm will help on building your faith and look more towards our Father in heaven.

Next Question, what do u think u will see when u die in the next moment?
Of course is our heavenly Father! :) Get it? Godman? wahaha~

climb to the top of the mountain.

we all are being choosen to overcome all the mountain in the world and glorified His name. Which mountain m I going to climb after i come out from my comfort zone? God, bless me wisdom and direct my way to perform your will. Thx you Jesus.

Jesus Culture - Show Me Your Glory

the tears

Sometimes people drop a lot of tears from theirs eyes. But the tears actually can define in many ways to me. Not just in the way of those words that touch ur heart, and also included those words that actally piercing your heart. As what I had heard today, mean a lot to me. That really awake me from the sleeping beauty that pretending at the starting point and don't wish to start anything at all. Is time,and will be the right time. BE A MAN, DO THE RIGHT THING! Just start from tomorrow, just let Him lead. I know I can do it. I know,because open door is waiting.

the deep side.

sometimes we are get use to keep asking things from our parent. But since when we only gonna realize that what they really want? Think wise and think twice. :)

3rd Heaven and "A day at a secret place"

Actually that was the first time for me to experience God's present in this way. I'm quite excited fot it. Because experience the present of God is so nice. And i think i'm addicted to it. :) haha. By the way, for me the expectation for going to third heaven is still not so important. What i mean for myself will be, the experience with God is much more important than going to third heaven. As Ps says, if you are not going to third heaven, don't feel bad and condemn yourself. Just put your trust to the Lord, let Him do the work. You and everyone of us are placing nicely under the time table of God, so I just trust Him and let Him do what he wanna do to me. :) For me, this time will be the personal encounter to God. I saw Perez in my vision, i saw apple too. Other than that, actully God did teach me somethings that is very important to me. :) Which is during this harvest season, we all were getting the holy fire from God to do the work of God which is getting revival. But now, devil is trying all his best to tempt us or draw hour attention out from our work. Actually i'm facing same of this problems. At first i don't realize that, but God highlight that to me. Then He tell me, eventhough you are facing a lot of challenge, but you must always come back to me. And the Mighty God will change the temptation to the open door of God. That was really awesome! For me that was really helpful. I try to share, but i did't get the chance to share due to the limitation of time. But is ok, if God really want His people know about it, He definitely will help me for it. Thank you Jesus. :) Thx so much!

What a wonderful mistake :)

If u wondering who are those people that dont sleep and go for "Broga Hill", that's will be ur answer. :)

The flowers that grow at the side of the road. I like it. :)

Here comes the king kong who holding 2 machine gun! wahahaha!

This will be the one of my favourite picture that i take today. The feel just so strong. I love it!

This will be a picture that we take before we left Genting. Is really nice. The light source just like open heaven! Awesome!

The time that we still in the car that driving around within the mid night street. Cold wind went throught the window and touch our face. wohoo! Cold man!

Is hard to descript that when we face the situation need to make decision, and to sacrifice somebody to do something. Is still hard, we are stil flesh and blood, but not stone. Thanks a lot mates. :) Learn a lot again, and nice to meet u, TEH PING.

I come in with expectation, go out with satisfaction!

Actually today's PC ,Ps David preaching a lot of words of God. Eventhough is long, but I really benefit a lot. Well, today's topic will be discussing about the "one accord" which also will be "return to the purpose of the Lord". This might be not an issue that we will normally notice in the church, but after Ps. David preaching about this topic, actually will let us really sit down properly and think about it. By the way, the preaching is talking about what we done in the church, or outside the church, we must remember one thing. Which is the purpose of God. Don't be tempted by other things when doing the word of God, never neglect the Word of God. ( which is the Love of God ) Good things doing it without the purpose of God will not become the GREAT COMMISSION. Emm, i think i still need to go and find out what's that mean. :) And Ps. David also mention, what the people are doing such as helping people, take care of people, actually if not related to the purpose of God, then u are depart from the main purpose. Every time we think that we are helping others are doing good things, but actually the main objective is gone.

Another topic which is mention during the PC will be the world created a lot of languages among all nation, and the words actually insert a lot of second meaning which will not be easily to understand by the outsider. This will be descript as the work of devil that use to separate us to be togather or to become one back to God. :) But God always the smartest God, He give us the spiritual language! The tongue! Haha. Emm, this remind me that our brother Joven ask me about the tongue today. :) I'm glad that he will curious what's that is, because this will be the first step to let him know more and more about God, and his hunger for God as well. Well, i answer him by the help of my Big Big Holy Ghost that exercise in me in the car. I feel awesome about that. haha. Because i share the word of God! :)

That will be the part of the PC 1. I know is quite long, because Ps David preaching PC1&2 at the same time ma. That's why. haha. But under the PC2, Ps David was mention about we must clearly know that who JESUS really was. And he also talk about a testimony of a man who recognise by God as a "light" to lighten up those area which is cover with "darkness". He who dare to carry his boldness and the faith of God and go to those area to minister and even plant churches at the area. A lot of souls save under the power of God which included thse drug addict, gangsters & prostitutes. Amen!

Another interesting point will be, when u listen to a testimony, doesn't mean that u "will" get the testimony. hrmmm.... need some time to digest this point. :) But keep praying for you yourself that experience that personally too!

I think this will be the first time that i wrote so much of words. haha. That truly means that the topic is match with the content! haha. Praise the Lord! Amen! :)

OH YEAH! ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING TO ADD ON! TODAY PS CHURCH IS HAVING A GROUP OF BLESSING TOWARD ALL THE SISTERS AND BROTHERS! WE KEEP PRAY IN TONGUES TO RECEIVED THE GIFT FROM GOD! ME AND DENION IS RESPONSIBLE ON PHOTOGRAPH AND VIDEO. THEN DENION ASK ME:" DO U SMELL SMTHG?", " THE SMELL OF FIRE!!!" THAT WAS AWESOME LIKE MAD!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Hillsong United - Age to Age (His Glory Appears) HQ

today is a tired and wonderful day :)

God i just wish that u will out pour some more anointing to me so that i have the boldness to reash out to more people to save their soul, open their spiritual eyes and share about Your word. Let Your Love cover all of us. In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen.

Hillsong LIVE - Love Like Fire

the power of Holy Spirit

Just now during the quite time with God and praying about the revision for the last paper, I suddenly reminded that i shall wrote this down. Recently Miikael's brother just come to KL for his bodycheck up for the pilot education purpose, and he was invited by Miikael to come to our church. He went to church before when he was in penang. And after that he accepted Christ here in KL. That's really awesome. But after that, I sense that he had some question still inside his mind and heart. I pray to God for a confirmation. If he didn't sleep after this then i will go in and listen to his heart's voice. We being chatting a lot, we share about the experience of God, his church, and his heart toward his perspective to church and God. From the conversation, many things came in to my mind and want me to speak it out. Eventhough i'm not well prepare to go "minister" him at the first place. But i confirm is Holy Spirit is working throught me at the time. What i do is just let me ears open to listen what is his feeling and thought, and the rest i jus left it to Him. We talk a lot, and at last i advise him to pray daily, talk to God daily, then will experience God daily. After his experience, how could he possible to deny God into his open heart? haha. May God work throught you,brother. Amen. :) Rejoice with Him,as He always with You!

is complicated

how am i gonna start this? Actually what i can done i already do my best on it. Just all surrender to God that He will take care all of it. The picture above is quite related to the DP lesson today. :) i like that.

Love and the boundary

Today's topic for the morning PC will be talking about Love, by Ps Jason. It is a very useful preaching to me actually. Eventhought is a foundation for chrstian that just accepted christ, but thats also means that if u are not good in that, the building u build will not be stable. Until jus now i really know the meaning of u are DEEPLY LOVE. Praise the Lord. He love Us before We love Others.

Other than that, today Ps Jason also preaching about the new words call the DEVINE PROTECTION. Which means that A God's children, He will protect everyone of us from harm and any attack from devil.

For the afternoon session, will be my first time that attended the chinese Pc, preached by Ps Lois. The first impression for me is, the chinese preaching was really hard to preach. Eventhought we can understand in English, but when u need to talk in chinese, that's really need wisdom. But Ps Lois preaching is really good. I like that anyway, and i will support chinese pc for sure!

For the second pc, Ps David was preaching about the principle that u shall applied from bible,the assurance of our salvation, and also the unforgiveness sins which will cause people death. All will be touch on major is in the Acts. That really hit my dark area actually, so even i felt tired during the preaching, but i know that this will be the lesson of God that i shall never miss. So i force myself to focus, at the end i felt that i get what i want. Rejoice!!! Today's preaching really benefit my SQ which will means the Spiritual Quotation a lot. Praise the Lord!

So the reward for today will not only be the God's word that received from the preaching. But at the same time i also get known of 2 new soldier for God's army which is Joven and Miikael's brother! Which i forget his name honestly. Haha. At last, i wish to close this passage which a prayer, Under God's glory, we are deelpy blessed, highly favor, richly blessed,powerfully annoited, devinely protected and always succesful! :)

the experience

what i experience today which will be during the exam time. when i was totally being discourage by the first question of the exam. this will be the really first time that i stare at the question for about 45 mins then my mind had nothing inside. that's the management paper, so i always revise myself that shall interprete the question carefully. but after read throught the question many times, me mind stil get nothing. == then i decided to skip the question and move on to the other that at least got some draft in my mind d question. but at the moment of time, some of the answer i read throught before but my best friend says that wont come out then i didnt go and focus more on that topic. but dramatically it come out. and i try to use my memory to dig out the answer. haha. some of them i remember, but some of them i totally forget. and i start to pray for wisdom from God. i pray for 2 times, then it comes out 2 answer for me! thx God for answer my prayer! haha. i'm really happy that experience God in this way.

the another things that i experience today will be the H.O.P.F.A.N which held on every friday. that the moment of get close to God togather with church members. what we do will be having prayer for all nation. that is really meaningful to me. because actually i dont spend more time on communicate with God. because im the kinda person who is reli hard to focus. so need some time to prepare. today what i saw will be... i saw the image of thunder, and all the past memory that God change me. i feel the present of God so close. and i cry out when i feel that. thats wat i normally do anyway. i really precious the time at church, eventhought sometime will end prayer lately. but i enjoy the time with God and the preaching of Ps David. Thx God for the experience and healing for Peggy. We Praise u and Worship Ur Name. Amen.

the another confirmation

started to have a lot of dream since asia ablaze conference. == oh my goodness,God i wish to know the reason y u gave me the dream, and the meaning behind it. thx Jesus...><

the guilt.

Since will be a long time that i blog me second voice here. I had being surrounded by the excuses, appointment and all the activities with me that block my way to continue on it. But today, eventhough i'm trying to make some time for revision my studies for my exam, something is hide inside my heart which make me feel guilt.
The story was this, i saw a mother bring hers children which are 4 of them,standing outside the public bank ATM entrance and beg for food. They are so poor that they can't even buy food for their children. At the moment, my instinct (maybe is Holy Spirit.) tells me that i shall help them or buy some food for them. But dont know what reason at that time i didnt help them! And when i finish withraw my money, i just terus go across the road and go back to meet my friends on mamak. They still calling me for food even they dunno how to speak other then tamil. Haiz. The kids is still so young,they need food for that. Oh my goodness... i shall give them a hand. Im so sorry auntie.

The Fivefold Office

Yesterday was a ministry seminar that being held in World Harvest Church with a topic of FIVEFOLD OFFICE. Ps David was preaching this during the seminar. Actually the fivefold is the person who had being received calling by God to do some part of His plan. Five of them are apostles,Prophets,evangelist,pastor and teacher. All the calling is being given by God and not from man or throught man, because that person being call will be the will of God. They will received the calling from God and perform their duty with the spiritual gift that given by God as well. There are the 5 of miracles,gift of healing,helps,administration,varieties of tougues. Another 7 will be prophecy,ministry,evhortation,giving,leading and showing mercy.

So after a person that received calling by God then he or she will become the BONDSERVANTS OF JESUS CHRIST. Means that he will serve Christ in the rest of his life. Or in other words, they willing to surrender their life in serving Lord of Jeses his master.

All the seminar is majorly tell us about the office of Apostle,Prophet,Evangelist,Pastor and Teacher. The simple description for all of the fivefold will be:

Apostles, will be the person who go and perform God's will. Like an architect.

Prophet, will be the person who is speak the word of God. Like the project designer.

Evangelist, will be the person who go and share the gospel and winning souls, to bring more people to God.

Pastor & teacher, will be the person who is teaching those young christian to be more mature in accomplish the assignment of God.

So you can see, every person that being calling by God has their duties. they are representing the parts and joints of a body and the head of course will be the Lord of Jesus. They must always exercise their spiritual gift and perform their duties then the whole church will be improve into a better condition. Like the example that Ps David said:" If one of ur body part or organ feel tired, they wanna hav an one hour break,what will happen to u?" Definitely the whole human body will suffer. That's the meaning. Must keep practising.

The fivefold minister will carry the grace to produce 3 significant result.

1.Promote Spiritual Wisdom.

The Fivefold given the grace to teach with their spiritual experience.

2.Promote Spiritual Fellowship.

They have the grace to train God's people in maintian loving fellowship.

3.Promote Spiritual Networking.

They given the grace to coach believer to discovered and operate their spiritual gifts.

That will be the whole topics in the seminar. eventhought i was felt very tired at the beginning, but thanks to God that giving me the energy and wisdom to concentrate on Ps David preaching. At last but not least, the healing session also create miracle before we left! haha,PRAISE GOD!

one love

Yesterday i go for an event that held in college hall DKA; organized by the CF (christian fellowship) members. The theme of the event named ONE LOVE. That will be talking about people in this world is lacking love toward one and others. Caring, helping hands and kind heart is not longer being shown by people long times ago. This event they help to remind us about the love and caring that hide inside our deeper heart. Give out our hand to help those people that need help.

Other then that, they also invited a lot of singers and composer (Jovi Theng) and his Ps (Jonathan Loh from FGA) to have a preach of gospel and some testimony as well. They tell us abt all their stories from what they used to be until now the their new life after accepting Christ. The miracle that they experience during the time and the passion that they had. That was reli awesome! Ps Jonathan also had a preach of gospel abt how important youngster toward the church industry. Eventhougth they are from the chinese church, but his preach is also as powerful as the preaches that i heard before, because they are talking about GOD's word as well. I also discovered that they worship style is much more different from us. The main different will be their worship is so enjoy, they jump, they dance,they sing, they bow. But our church is belongs to standing worship style,maybe next time we can act like them as well in order to increase the "feeling" of worship! Another thing is Ps Jonathan told us again and again will be the real vision that Lord Jesus wants us to see is what he is doin in our college. He received the wisdom of God says that God wants him to rebuild the youngster christian in the church. So that he obey God's word,he choose to do it no matter how difficult it is. At the end he made it! Amen! He also remind us about everything happen in our life is being arrange by God, is all under the plan of God. We shall do what God want us to do in this college.

At the end,Ps Jonathan invited those non believer who wants to believe in christ move forward to the front and he will lead to a prayer for them. I dont know the actual amount of people in front, but i know there are numbers of them. After the event, when i go and find Bong Yang we said the same word :"today Jesus kill how many people again?" haha. means how many people being save from their past till now. Feel so great and happy for the CF members. God bless u all. Amen! Hallelujah! And praise the Lord!

the sin...

Yesterday Ps Monica teach us abt the meaning of SIN during the DP. Dunno why,everytime i go for DP or E3, the program that i attend is the topic of things that i always ask for. For me,can say is a very special cases,cos i had been confuse by the word of "sin" is my heart long time ago. Not only for my personal attitude, action, and the way of thinking as well. Thanks again for Ps Monica for teaching me this.

Yesterday we had been taught that we are rightous after we had trusted God and believe in Jesus. At long time ago, we are slave of sins,no matter what we do,how many donation we gave, how many good deed we do, how many kind heart we were, we still classifield under the slave in the sinner prison. But after Jesus was born, people who believe in Jesus will be grand to go for the prison of righteousness. This was given to us when we are believe in Lord of Jesus. And this was given automatically,no need any effort nor any work to earn the salvation of christ.

And sin will be classified into 2 type there are ORIGINAL SIN and ACTUAL SIN. Sounds interesting har? (catch by Daniel,haha. he always said that.) To my knowledge, the original sins is the sin that is already in us when we are born. Before you done anything, at the 1st day when you are born, you born as a sinner. I think thats the meaning of original sin. ( If im wrong plz correct me, thx) And for the actual sin will be obviously those sins that we will commited when we are doing something that will create guilt. As an easy way to say, all things that beyond God's word is sin. And to God,the sin also classified into several level, from serious to acceptable level. This will be an overall picture abt the topic la. So,according to Ps Monica, many christian is confuse about the sin that we commited will lead us back to the SINFUL PRISON? The answer is NO. When we were accepting Christ, we already in the prison of righteous. We will not fall back to the sinful prison eventhought we sin. WHY? Because the only man that is fully righteous and sinless is only Lord of Mighty. We all are still human, so we will still commited sins even we are well reminded ourself. Our God know that, but He love us so much, so when we commited sin, He will stil forgive us. AS LONG AS WHEN U ARE SIN,COME BACK TO GOD. U will be forgiven. And another important thing is, u mus confess to God, and seek for forgiveness. U will be forgive. How generous and love He is!

Now is about the effect when commited sin. Sin will affect ur life, because sin will lead to pain and destructive consequences to us and others as well! That's the serious part! u and ur people serounded will be affected by sins. So when u had commited sin, the way to overcome it is God.

Only God can forgive ur sin. Jesus wash away our sins by being punish on our behalf? He use His blood to wash away our past,present and future sins. We are free from that sinful prison because of Him Lord of Jesus. Amen! No matter what mistake or sin u had done,pray to God. U will be released.

Do you not know that to whom you present youself slaves to obey,you are that the one's slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, of of obedience leading to RIGHTEOUSNESS? (ROMAN 6:16 NKJM)

That's all the things I can write under my limited english writing skills. If anything wrong, as a reminder, plz correct me. God bless you all with a wonderful day! Amen!

归来

出国公干了差不多有一个月了。虽然只是在邻国，但感觉却是截然不同的。一开始对那里的憧憬，跟自己所面对的情况真地完全不一样。在新加坡竟然也会有没有internet access 的地方。没错，那就是我所居住的地方。jurong east啦。不过，这次真的没有后悔来到这里工作。在这次的经历里，我学会了很多东西，跟人接触的方式，解决问题的方法，当然还有最重要的，认识了他们。哈哈。他们真地帮助了我很多很多。ESTHER，CALVEN，JENG，YVONNE，EMILY，VIVIAN，AVERIE&JC. 我们虽然认识不会很久，但能跟你们一起相处我真地很开心。尤其是在我的公主脚受伤时，你们给我的问候和帮忙。真地是超感谢的啦！我会永远记得所有在我们工作，相处时所发生的趣事的。想念你们哦。有空可要多聚聚哦！PROMISE!

宝贵的一课

今天真地上了宝贵的一课，真的很感谢他的讲解。我真地觉得应该把这个马上写下来，因为对我来说真地很有帮助。今天我们CELL GROUP分享的是到底怎样才是真正的CHRISTIAN？要经过什么步骤？要读多少圣经？需要遵守什么法则？今天一一揭开。当我们真为一个基督徒，我们的心很容易被别人所影响，尤其是撒旦。它会想方设法的挑破我们对天父的忠诚。
首先，我们讲解一下，为什么外国的基督徒worship会和我们亚洲人不太一样？其实呢，是因为他们的思想比较接近CHRIST。怎么来说呢，就是因为我们生在一个较传统的家庭里，会有不少人从小就被灌输于很多种宗教的概念。而那些呢就是其中一个因素为什么我们的worship会跟US不同。
我们要知道对于一个基督徒来说，圣经是很重要的一个必备品。但又有谁知道，其实作为一个忠诚的信徒，最重要的还是个“心”？实际上，这个世界存在着很多种TRUTH，但是却被归类于很多阶层。打个比方，每个人的心中都有个秤来鉴定对和错，当然也会有灰色地带的存在。对于每个人而言，每种事情都有很多种看法，是因为我们每个人心中的秤都是不同的。在今天的讲解中，如果一个很厉害读圣经的一位朋友用圣经来跟你争论有关于CHRIST的事情时，应该如何是好？明明两个人都说不通。一个是用圣经里的词语来诠释自己的论点，而你呢？你会怎么回答？其实呢，答案很简单。一个会拿着圣经来指正你的人代表着他熟读这本圣经，但是不代表他们明白真正的意义。we must have the relationship with GOD, not the bible. we shall study the word on the bible, not just study only the bible. 这句话真地说的很对，这让我对我自己的想法有了改变。也有另外一个例子就是，在SARAWAK，那里的有个食人族部落，有猎人头颅的习俗。非常的危险，普通人们是不敢接近的。但有一次，部落里的一位witch doctor 的女儿颈部生了一个很大的瘤，身为witch doctor 的爸爸什么都做了，但是终究没有改善。还好有位牧师前去为那位女子healing。脓瘤即可痊愈，从此他们整家因见证了holy healing 也成为了基督徒。而那位牧师只懂得圣经里的仅仅10章。这则代表着懂得的页数并不重要，重要的是到底明不明白。
你犯罪了，上不了天堂？错！要永远记得，天父是疼爱我们的，即使我们犯了错误，他也会再次给我们机会。当他创造我们时，也给与了我们选择的权利。当我们决定要做某些事情时，我们能自己作出决定。althougth JESUS's blood wash away our sins from the past, the present, and the future, but the decision we made still need to consider about the consequences. 他不会骂，或诅咒我们，但我们会为我们自己所做的决定负责。天父会不断地给与我们爱和原谅。这真地帮助了我很多。毕竟我也在我的过渡期中挣扎，不过这给了我答案。
这些是我尽量用脑记录下来的一些东西。对我而言真地很有帮助。纯属分享。

难忘的回忆

经过了一段艰辛万苦的努力，考试终于结束了！能做的，我也做了。能努力的，我也真地努力了。希望我能获得好点的成绩，来让在JB老家的那两老能佩服佩服我。哈哈~在这次的努力中，真的得感谢很多人。以为他们，时时刻刻的提醒我要读书，我才没那么懒惰。不然真地没眼睛去看考试纸吧。哈哈。在怎么说，他们都是我的忠实“战友”，真的很谢谢你们。考试一结束，我们整班AMA1 就迫不及待的从学校冲去了PUCHONG WATERPARK。真地是很兴奋！辛苦了大半段时间，终于能去疏解以下压力了！解放时间到咯！那里真地很漂亮，环境优美，设备齐全。房间应有尽有。真地是赞啦！这次更高兴的是，我可爱的女朋友也愿意跟我一起去玩，真地是太好了啦。在那里我们玩水上活动，泡按摩浴，享受“给鱼咬”的滋味。哈哈，真的很有趣。除此之外，我们大伙还计划了一项大工程。就是准备庆祝SERINE的生日哦。哈哈，准备给他个大惊喜！到最后，我们还有BBQ烧烤会。掌厨人就是我们伟大的阿TAE！说真的，他的厨艺还真不是盖的（是粘的吧）哈哈。最后就是喝啤酒如喝水时间。我们把那宝贵的啤酒当杀人武器般的通过游戏来让人们醉倒。那场游戏不只是见证了啤酒的威力，还揭开了人类的丑陋。哈哈。隔天早上我们12点就CHECK OUT。之后就去吃PUCHONG烧鹅饭。还真的不错哦。这次真的很愉快，希望下次的出游会更有趣。尽情期待！

lose and found...

其实标题真地很贴切，当你在失去某种东西时，你又会得到另一种东西。从表面上看来不是很珍贵，但他的本质却超乎你的想象。真的~ 虽然因为自己的一个失误而遗失了一架相机，但却意外地得到另外一个自己蒙昧以求得CASHFLOW GAME。真地很高兴。但是高兴得不知是单单这个因素。当然还有更重要的东西值得我去追求，去为他取悦。因为找回了他，让自己的人生目的又回归了原点。we all are new! I 'm adopted! wohoo~真地很感动。。。赞啦~！

聆听到的心声

在我们的对话中，我听见了一个很想改变自己的人的心声。虽然只是透露了一点点，但我知道他很想改善他自己的人极关系和别人对他的看法。过去的某些事情，让他彻底的了解到别人到底对他的行为，做法有什么看法。他很伤心，因为他根本从来没有想过人们会那么觉得。他努力过改变，现在情况改善了。但是，这只是我们这一边的情况。当我提起我们之间的班聚时，他觉得他班上不可能会有这种情况出现。班上基本上已经分裂成两派，已经不是一斑了。所以想要班聚机会也是很渺茫。我只能说的是，这世界上，没有人是完美的，当人们会对你有所不满，表示某一方已出了问题。不要期望别人为你改变。换个角度来看，自己本身作出改变，更有可能可以把问题解决。一方面自己的缺点能被改善，又能增进关系，那不是很好吗？垫高枕头想想，会有好的方法的。

挣扎

不知是巧遇还是一切都在安排之中，越想逃避的，越是要你面对。

经过了一整夜的思考，还是敌不过内心的恐惧。原来我还是那么的胆小，惧怕每件事。

机会一次又一次的从我身边错过，而我只能眼睁睁的看着他离去？

万分的挣扎在我脑海里不断的涌现，阻止着我做每一件事。

或许，真的或许，我需要人来给我意见，聆听外面宝贵的声音。

真地好喜欢

我找了很久，始终没找到它。哎，真的是无缘。

真希望有一天能拥有它。

有谁知道我的想法？

颂赞，神的善良。

这是我所翻开那本书的其中一页，所看见的第一个句子。真地很感谢你，因为你，提醒了我那么的多。突然才发觉，原来我把他遗忘了那么久。再次提起他是多么开心的一件事。我真的很想念他。但因为自己的某种原因，放弃了跟随他。就因为借口，在我身上随处都能找到。因为我是很喜欢找借口来抵挡过错的人。这次当然也不例外。对他，我也给与了借口。企图把他忘记。但是在偶然的情况下我看见了那本书，让我回忆起很多事情。看见别人的初次相遇，到真心露出，我真的感觉很惭愧。提起他们，感觉自己是多么的不真诚。

为了掩饰自己的愧疚感，我企图逃避有关的所有事情，包括谈论他们的事。我心里感到百份的不安。我知道我自己做的不对，但还是企图逃避。心中的挣扎难以抚平，口中的言语更加难以表达。我只能默默的向你提出请求，希望你真地可以再次真诚的倾听我的诉说。我为太多的不解和疑问所困惑，心真地好乱。不知道这次又是不是自己的暂时性冲动？拜托，我自己已经害怕了这种的我，不想再次去伤害他们的好意。自己又能坚持到哪里?我真的很想知道。。。